Big Jokes

[..::ARUN::..]

How a BOY withdraws cash from ATM.

1. Park the car

2. Go to ATM Machine

3. Insert card

4. Enter PIN

5. Take money out

6. Take ATM Card out

7. Drive away

BUT

How a GIRL withdraws cash from ATM


1. Park the car

2. Check makeup

3. Turn off engine

4. Check makeup

5. Go to ATM

6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse

7. Insert card

8. Hit Cancel

9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it

10. Insert card

11. Enter PIN

12. Take cash

13. Go to car

14. Check makeup

15. Start car

16. Stop car

17. Run back to ATM

18. Take ATM card

19. Back to car

20. Check makeup

21. Start car

22. Check makeup


thn drive car........

[..::ARUN::..]

Solve this; get a little bit relaxed.....!!

A hen and her 3 little chickens were trying to cross a busy highway.
After great efforts they all managed to cross it. One of the little ones
yells out happily-"Wow....after so much efforts, all 5 of us managed to
cross"....

Qn. Why does the little one say "all 5 of us"

Think a little bit ....... Its easy !

SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANS........

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ANS:

ARRE BACHCHE HAIN ....


KUCH BHI BOL DETE HAIN ...


TUM TENSION MAT LO APNA KAAM KARO

[..::ARUN::..]

An employee walks into the Accounts office and says "What is the meaning of this. I have been paid $200 less than what was decided upon."

The Accountant replies "I know about it, but you did not complain when we paid $200 extra by mistake last month."

The employee snaps back "Yeah, I can bear with occasional mistakes but when you make it a habit I think I need to report."

[..::ARUN::..]

A crazy Desi was running amuck in central business area of Banglore.

He saw one American guy. He approached him and said, "You are Japanese."

The American said, "No, I am American."

Crazy Desi goes again raising his voice, "No you are Japanese."

The polite American said, "No, No, I am American sir"

Crazy Desi says in yelling voice, "You are Japanese."

The scared American replies in conformance, "Yes, I am Japanese."

The Cooled down Desi goes, "Perhaps, but you look like damn American OK."

__________________________________________________ ___________________



Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."


Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.

"Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."

Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

Letter 1
Dear God,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.

Your friend,
Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2
Dear God,

This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you.

Your friend,
Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

Letter 3
Dear God,

I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.

Bobby

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.

Letter 4
God,

I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.

Please! Thank you,

Bobby

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner", Bobby's mother told him.

Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.

Bobby began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5
God,

I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND ME THE BIKE!!!!!!

[..::ARUN::..]

A crazy Desi was running amuck in central business area of Banglore.

He saw one American guy. He approached him and said, "You are Japanese."

The American said, "No, I am American."

Crazy Desi goes again raising his voice, "No you are Japanese."

The polite American said, "No, No, I am American sir"

Crazy Desi says in yelling voice, "You are Japanese."

The scared American replies in conformance, "Yes, I am Japanese."

The Cooled down Desi goes, "Perhaps, but you look like damn American OK."

__________________________________________________ ___________________



Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."


Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.

"Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."

Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

Letter 1
Dear God,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.

Your friend,
Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2
Dear God,

This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you.

Your friend,
Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

Letter 3
Dear God,

I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.

Bobby

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.

Letter 4
God,

I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.

Please! Thank you,

Bobby

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner", Bobby's mother told him.

Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.

Bobby began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5
God,

I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND ME THE BIKE!!!!!!

[..::ARUN::..]

The CIA was recruiting for a top secret assignment. They were
down to three recruits, two men and one woman. Only one could
get the position. As a final test each recruit was led down a
hallway to a large gray door. The CIA agents say to the first
man, "We need to know that you will do whatever we say
regardless of the circumstances. Take this gun, go into this
room and kill your wife". A look of shock comes over the man's
face. He says, "I can't kill my wife. I just can't do it. I
guess I'm not the man for this job". "No, you're not", agree
the agents, "You're free to go".

They bring the second man to the door and say, "We need to know that you will do whatever we say regardless of the circumstances.
Take this gun, go into this room and kill your wife". The man
takes the gun and goes into the room. The room is silent and
after five minutes the man opens the door, tears streaming down
his face. "I tried," he says, "but I just couldn't do it. I can't
kill my wife". The agents let him leave.

They bring the woman to the door and say, "We need to know

that you will do whatever we say regardless of the

circumstances. Take this gun, go into this room and kill your husband". She takes the gun and before the door closes

behind her, she shoots off all 13 rounds emptying the gun.

The door closes behind her and for the next five minutes

the agents hear loud banging and grunting. The
door finally opens, revealing the sweat-drenched woman. She looks at both agents, wipes her brow and says, "Whew!

You guys didn't tell me that the gun was filled with blanks -

I had to beat him to death with the chair!"

[..::ARUN::..]

Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.

In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

Santa thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.

But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"

Santa replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."

Saint Peter lets him in without another word....